marți, 24 noiembrie 2009

Dialog

M-am gandit sa scriu o...chestie.Pare ca autorul e un kinder de 8 ani,dar nu imi pasa.Oricum,nu citeste nimeni.

-Vrei sa imi spui ceva?
-Nu...
-Daca nu vrei sa imi spui nimic,de ce ma privesti astfel?
-Nu stiu.Doar ca...ar fi ceva.
-Spune-mi.
-Nu pot.
-De ce?
-Nu stiu.
-Atunci,nu imi spune.
-Dar vreau sa iti spun.
-Ce te opreste?
-Mi-e frica.
-De ce?
-De ceea ce vei spune
-Nu voi spune nimic.
-Cred ca stii ce vreau.
-Nu,nu stiu.
-O,ba cred ca stii.
-Nu,nu are cum sa fie ceea ce cred eu.
-Ba da.
-Nici macar nu stiu ce crezi.
-Asta e si ideea.Spune tu.
-Nu.
-De ce?
-Poate nu e acelasi lucru.
-Ba este.
-De unde stii?
-Stiu.pur si simplu.
-Nu,nu spun.
-Nici eu.


....si nu vor sti niciodata.

vineri, 20 noiembrie 2009

The Raven

Poezia mea preferata...In engleza,pt ca,in romana,e sub orice critica.


The Raven

Edgar Allan Poe


Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

sâmbătă, 7 noiembrie 2009

O clipa

Nimic nu mai avea rost,sau poate ca renuntasem sa il mai caut.Nu mai puteam simti caldura,nu mai aveam puterea de a vedea culorile sau de a iubi.Eram asemenea unui om legat la ochi care mergea pe marginea unei prapastii,reusind cumva sa nu cada.Dar vedeam totul,fara a putea intelege nimic.Nu mai aveam suflet,deja ma obisnuisem cu idea unei vieti intregi petrecute fara a o trai cu adevarat.Ani,luni,saptamani,secunde,zile intregi pline de suferinta…era imposibil sa trec peste ele.

...dar toate acestea au fost invinse de o clipa,clipa in care lumea intreaga a capatat un inteles:tu.Ai devenit,fara ca macar sa te cunosc,intregul meu univers.Ai devenit eu.Fiecare calitate,defect,respiratie,fir de par,zambet,lacrima,clipire,miscare,dorinta,cuvant de-al tau era,deodata,mai important decat orice altceva.Respiram bucurie,simteam cum ma parasea fiecare durere.Imi descoperisem sufletul,dar a fost prea tarziu,pentru ca era deja al tau.Dar toate lucrurile bune au un sfarsit…totusi,nu voi mai fi niciodata la fel.Te voi iubi mereu,si mereu va fi fara speranta.Viata nu e neagra,asa cum crezusem.Acea secunda a schimbat totul.

TU ai schimbat totul.Iti multumesc…

duminică, 1 noiembrie 2009

Citate

"Noi am vrea să murim fără să existe moarte."-Emil Cioran


“...Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”-Stephen King


“We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell”-Oscar Wilde


All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.-E.A.Poe


“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.”-Orson Welles

"There exist only three respectable beings: the priest, the warrior, the poet. To know, to kill, and to create."-Charles Baudelaire

"Few people have the imagination for reality."-Goethe


"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.”-J.R.R.Tolkien


“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.”(Elie Wiesel)

"The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who in time of great moral crises maintain their neutrality."-Dante

"Evil is just a point of view"-Anne Rice

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."-Mark Twain

"Whenever you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.-Arthur Conan Doyle


"I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I thinK I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."-J.R.R.Tolkien

sâmbătă, 31 octombrie 2009

Miros de frig...



E noapte,vantul bate printre frunze,iar eu simt un miros de frig.Da,ciudat...pentru mine,frigul a avut mereu miros.E greu de descris,presupun ca fiecare il percepe altfel.Miros de libertate,de portocale,de lemn,de ars,de munte...de toate si de niciuna.Miros de interzis.
Mereu,dorim lucrurile sau persoanele pe care nu avem voie sa le vrem?Totusi,de ce, intotdeauna,persoanele pe care nu avem voie sa le vrem nu ne vor nici ele?O fi valabil numai in cazul meu?Nu,nu cred.Nu sunt chiar atat de deosebita.Cred ca sta in firea lucrurilor:ea stie ca vrei sa ii incalci regulile nescrise si te pedepseste cum poate mai rau.
Frigul face bine...frigul amorteste orice durere...dar de ce nu poate amorti si asta?As da orice sa nu mai simt nimic.ORICE,dar simt din ce in ce mai mult.NU simt iubire(sau nu in adevaratul sens al cuvantului).Simt doar...habar nu am ce.Nu am cuvinte pentru asa ceva.
Oricum,va trece.Totul dispare,oricat de groaznic ar fi.De ce nu dispare acum?De ce inca mai simt?De ce simt miros de frig?!...

duminică, 25 octombrie 2009

It will never rain again...

De ce voiam lumina si tot ceea ce primeam era intuneric?De ce voiam soare,dar ploua dintotdeauna?
De ce strigam si nu ma auzea nimeni?De ce plangeam si nimanui nu ii pasa?De ce ajunsese sa nu imi mai pese nici mie?Voiam culori,dar vedeam doar un abis de negru.Nimic nu mai avea rost...sau poate avea,dar nu il mai puteam intelege.Ma straduiam sa ies din oceanul de incertitudine,dar nu faceam altceva decat sa ma inec,incet,dar sigur.Nu cunoscusem viata,desi murisem de mii de ori.Respiram regrete,nu puteam vedea lumina,iar tot ceea ce simteam era disperare.
Apoi,am vazut lumina.Cineva m-a auzit,si mi-a spus ca ii pasa.Era speranta mea,care mi-a aratat din nou intelesul vietii..Mi-a intins mana si m-a salvat de la inec.M-a invatat sa respir,sa vad,sa simt si sa traiesc din nou.
Nu va mai ploua niciodata...

sâmbătă, 10 octombrie 2009

Alfabet...sau 25 de lucruri despre mine.

Am observat ca blogului meu ii lipseste ceva:un post despre mine.Am hotarat sa il fac sub forma de alfabet(desi lipsesc undele litere).Nu prea imi place sa vorbesc despre propria persoana,dar acum am facut o exceptie.So here it goes:

A-aroganta-Un lucru care imi lipseste.Totusi,ador oamenii aroganti si habar nu am de ce.
B-bo$$-Boss-ul tuturor,Valorosul si derivatele...orice manifestare a cocalarismului imi provoaca repulsie.
C-culori-Culoarea mea preferata e negrul.(staaai,e nonculoare:))Atunci,orice culoare inchisa.
D-desenul-Nu sunt in stare nici sa desenez o casa.Punct.
E-Emma-Numele meu.Nu e cine stie ce,dar ma bucur ca este mai rar intalnit.
F-flori-Nu suport trandafirii.(cred ca sunt singura persoana care crede asta).Imi plac orhideele si crinii.
G-germana-Am incercat sa o invat singura,dar fara succes.Abia am inceput sa o studiez in Sava si sunt extraordinar de fericita.Mi se pare cea mai frumoasa si expresiva limba din cate exista.
H-homosexualii-Ii aprob,mi se pare ca fiecare are dreptul sa iubeasca pe cine vrea.Nu sunt nici rasista,xenofoba sau altceva.
I-idealism-Mai trebuie sa spun ceva???
J-jeleurile-...Alaturi de salata de vinete,spanac si ciorba de burta=chestii pe care nu le-as manca niciodata.
K-karma-Un lucru in care cred.
L-loviturile-...si alte manifestari ale violentei fizice mi se par caracteristice persoanelor incapabile sa rationeze.
M-muzica-Nu pot trai fara sa ascult muzica(in special,rock).Visez de mult sa invat sa cant la chitara,sper sa si reusesc.
N-Norvegia-Tara in care as vrea sa locuiesc.(Pot spune asta si despre Germania sau Finlanda).
O-ochi-Consider ca ochii sunt cea mai frumoasa parte a fizicului unei persoane.Este foarte ciudat,dar am o intreaga filozofie cu privire la sentimentele transmise de fiecare culoare de
ochi:)).Mi-am dorit mereu sa am ochii verzi.
P-poezie-Ador sa citesc(si sa incerc,fara succes,sa scriu)poezii.Poetii mei preferati sunt :Bacovia,Macedonski(de la noi),Baudelaire,Poe si Whitman(de afara).
Q-questions-Mereu,dar MEREU,trebuie sa intreb cate ceva.
R-rutina-Un lucru de neconceput.
S-Sava-Un liceu care mi-a schimbat viata.
T-Tolkien-Autorul trilogiei"Stapanul inelelor".Nu stiu in ce masura a contribuit acest om la schimbarea lumii,dar pe mine m-a schimbat radical.
U-utopic-...asa este modul meu de a gandi.
V-vampiri-...=o alta obsesie de-a mea.(orice,dar NU Twilight).
W-www.-Internetul,indispensabil si nociv...
X-Xena-idolul meu de cand eram mica:))
Z-zapada-Unul din putinele lucruri care ma fac fericita.